CRAZY LITTLE THINGS CALLED CONDOMSSSSSSSZZZZ

Before I begin the problems with condoms, I would like to thank the school board for successfully teaching students NIENFUCKINTE about sex, safe sex and where her clit is along with if she's wet it don mean she cumin.

NOW, CONDOMS SUCK RIGHT? "I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING, I CAN'T CUM, THEY AREN'T 100% PROOF SO LIKE LETS JUST NOT USE IT IT'S LIKE THE SAME-that would mean that my 30% grade 10 math grade should be the same as that asians 89%-

ok, yes they suck but fucking STI's (it's infection and not disease, get with the temps) blow permanent chunks. And I love when dudes are like "I'll pull out…you're on the pill right? so you won't get pregnant" here's when I want to slap there mom in the face for not having any chat with their precious prince. That's when I laugh and say "gimme a fuckin baby any day mothefucker, it's the fuckin infection i care about…that shit is fo lyfe".
Then the -"I haven't been with that many people, or in a while" my response "so you're not a virgin…exactly..condom". and you know how dumb a dude is when you ask "so when was the last time you got checked?" and he answers without a flinch "i've never had to" UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWHATTHEFUCK do you believe that old tale that your dick's gonna look up at you and tell you you've got a yiest infection, chlamydia, crabs, herpes (that case most likely) or daaaaaare i say it HIV AIDS??? the answer my friends is FUCKNO. also, what the fuck makes you think a stranger or anyone will automatically tell you they have something. and how the fuck can either of you know whether or not y'all have something when YOU'VE NEVER BEEN CHECKED, what are you fucking doctors now? NO. one of the easiest ways to discover if someone's cheating on you is to get checked and discover an STIzzle.

BECAUSE WE ALREADY KNOW THE CONS OF CONDOMS, HERE ARE THE PROS
- babies
- STI's
- encourages you to develop 4 play skills -actual ones- and make sex 1 trilllllion times better for both

TIP OF THE WEEK/SUMMER/LIFE
- not having to lose hair over stress of the above
- oh and that other one that always gets forgotten,,,,motherfuckingRESPECT for you body and your partners.
- GET CONDOMS THAT FIT YOUR DICK! if you have a cock aka a big dick, get some fuckin Torgan Large or Magnum Large and carry them with you, in your wallet not your fucking pockets. don't fucking expect the squirrels you bone to be carrying an array of fuckin sizes for your ass…this is your simpliche job, it's your fucking dick so get the fucking dome.
- if you manage to out talk a squirrel into using one, which is sadly easy, " i don't like them, i don't carry them around, i wasn't expecting to fuck anyone" these are all dumb things to say, especially the last one. always expect to fuck someone. the girl already has to shave and wax and that shit takes time, go buy your fucking condoms.
-AND MEDIUM TO SMALL DICK MEN- get over your dick size, and start fucking using it/getting 4 play down to an art.
DON't go buying condoms for a bigger dick, cause when you start fucking it just keeps sliding off and stuffing her with dryness… it's like reversing ALL that 4 play you just worked so h.a.r.d.on.

Fucking without a condom is like starting to smoke, first you only do it when you drink, then when you're stressed, only a few times a week next thing you know you're the one people ask a dart for and then shaBLAMY, you got C[h]ancer. See it was never about the fucking baby (well not never).


LOVE

1. Mo Betta Blues- Spike Lee Joint

2. Kings of Comedy- Spike Lee Joint

3. Do the Right Thing- Spike Lee Joint

4. Get on the Bus- Spike Lee Joint

5. She's Gotta Have It- Spike Lee Joint

6. Jungle Fever- Spike Lee Joint

7. He Got Game- Spike Lee Joint

8. She Hate Me- Spike Lee Joint

9. Kate Middleton's notnever lame wedding dress circa Grace Kelly

10. DIVA CUP- layaways if you dun no bout dis ish, look it up. never use a pad or tampon again or worry about him getting all up in your shit

HATE

1. This gayass weather, people should be more naked

2. Scientology

3. Croc season is around the corner/in full effect

4. dresses over pants

5. The overly photoshopped pages in Vogue, covers espesh..impossible forshortening is gross

6. House music…where the fuck are the R n B dancefloors at? no one gets laid with house music especially cause it involves drugs and a flaccid penis.

7. Nicki Manever

8. PC…not talking about the computer

9. Hair extensions…really? still? fuck along with Juicy Couture anything and fake tans (that are bad)..this is early 00s guys

10. Not being Jennifer Aniston, that dime gets the same amout of dick as Hank Moody…difference? real life.