Love

http://differentkitchen.blogspot.com/2010/05/music-video-kj-fresh-out-box.html


Hate

1. Beyonce's new track, video, dance. i'm sorry someone like Beyonce should NOT be trying Ciara dance sequences…she's simple not a good dancer. she ain't got that natural swag. Dances like Diddy aka Swag (see 11) raps shshshshhsh. it's terrible. and the -trying-hard-to-look-unique styling is brutal…even murdered a Tisci couture gown. and the women shan't rant brant scant common…now we have to hear you explain the reasoning and inspiration for the track over and over in interviews. too predic. this coming from a fan.

2. R&B house. see Hate 1 track http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBmMU_iwe6U for example. and don't call it trying to 'progress' as an artist, you're wearing GAga and you coped that background track.

3. except for that yellow dress, we all know that's House of Dereon.

4. Just because everyone is in sequence doesn't mean it's a good dance.

5. Why are there 5 different sounding songs in this shit?

6. at 1:50, when I need a barber to fix my shit, I certainly don't attack them like a squirrel.

7. 2:03, B are you giving the finger? With all that running world $$, you can't get us a clear shot? I already lost 2 nights of sleep on this waiting for a confirmation on that hand jester. Anyhow, I'm quickly distracted by your new set of gold fingers that you are making very sure we notice.

8. 3:14, the way you say "you love me" is the same fuckin tart way as Keri Hilson in her bunk track "the way you love me"

9. 3:22, watching you try to get up into a headstand in the sand is like

10. Frankly, as a girl, i don't want to run this motherfuckin world…it's all fucked up now. I mean just look at this song, it's by a girl.

11. But MOR IMPORTANTLY, DIDDY, FELT THE NEED TO change his name from Diddy to Swag. abusing the essence of swag and the word is neverswag.

CRAZY LITTLE THINGS CALLED CONDOMSSSSSSSZZZZ

Before I begin the problems with condoms, I would like to thank the school board for successfully teaching students NIENFUCKINTE about sex, safe sex and where her clit is along with if she's wet it don mean she cumin.

NOW, CONDOMS SUCK RIGHT? "I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING, I CAN'T CUM, THEY AREN'T 100% PROOF SO LIKE LETS JUST NOT USE IT IT'S LIKE THE SAME-that would mean that my 30% grade 10 math grade should be the same as that asians 89%-

ok, yes they suck but fucking STI's (it's infection and not disease, get with the temps) blow permanent chunks. And I love when dudes are like "I'll pull out…you're on the pill right? so you won't get pregnant" here's when I want to slap there mom in the face for not having any chat with their precious prince. That's when I laugh and say "gimme a fuckin baby any day mothefucker, it's the fuckin infection i care about…that shit is fo lyfe".
Then the -"I haven't been with that many people, or in a while" my response "so you're not a virgin…exactly..condom". and you know how dumb a dude is when you ask "so when was the last time you got checked?" and he answers without a flinch "i've never had to" UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWHATTHEFUCK do you believe that old tale that your dick's gonna look up at you and tell you you've got a yiest infection, chlamydia, crabs, herpes (that case most likely) or daaaaaare i say it HIV AIDS??? the answer my friends is FUCKNO. also, what the fuck makes you think a stranger or anyone will automatically tell you they have something. and how the fuck can either of you know whether or not y'all have something when YOU'VE NEVER BEEN CHECKED, what are you fucking doctors now? NO. one of the easiest ways to discover if someone's cheating on you is to get checked and discover an STIzzle.

BECAUSE WE ALREADY KNOW THE CONS OF CONDOMS, HERE ARE THE PROS
- babies
- STI's
- encourages you to develop 4 play skills -actual ones- and make sex 1 trilllllion times better for both

TIP OF THE WEEK/SUMMER/LIFE
- not having to lose hair over stress of the above
- oh and that other one that always gets forgotten,,,,motherfuckingRESPECT for you body and your partners.
- GET CONDOMS THAT FIT YOUR DICK! if you have a cock aka a big dick, get some fuckin Torgan Large or Magnum Large and carry them with you, in your wallet not your fucking pockets. don't fucking expect the squirrels you bone to be carrying an array of fuckin sizes for your ass…this is your simpliche job, it's your fucking dick so get the fucking dome.
- if you manage to out talk a squirrel into using one, which is sadly easy, " i don't like them, i don't carry them around, i wasn't expecting to fuck anyone" these are all dumb things to say, especially the last one. always expect to fuck someone. the girl already has to shave and wax and that shit takes time, go buy your fucking condoms.
-AND MEDIUM TO SMALL DICK MEN- get over your dick size, and start fucking using it/getting 4 play down to an art.
DON't go buying condoms for a bigger dick, cause when you start fucking it just keeps sliding off and stuffing her with dryness… it's like reversing ALL that 4 play you just worked so h.a.r.d.on.

Fucking without a condom is like starting to smoke, first you only do it when you drink, then when you're stressed, only a few times a week next thing you know you're the one people ask a dart for and then shaBLAMY, you got C[h]ancer. See it was never about the fucking baby (well not never).


LOVE

1. Mo Betta Blues- Spike Lee Joint

2. Kings of Comedy- Spike Lee Joint

3. Do the Right Thing- Spike Lee Joint

4. Get on the Bus- Spike Lee Joint

5. She's Gotta Have It- Spike Lee Joint

6. Jungle Fever- Spike Lee Joint

7. He Got Game- Spike Lee Joint

8. She Hate Me- Spike Lee Joint

9. Kate Middleton's notnever lame wedding dress circa Grace Kelly

10. DIVA CUP- layaways if you dun no bout dis ish, look it up. never use a pad or tampon again or worry about him getting all up in your shit

HATE

1. This gayass weather, people should be more naked

2. Scientology

3. Croc season is around the corner/in full effect

4. dresses over pants

5. The overly photoshopped pages in Vogue, covers espesh..impossible forshortening is gross

6. House music…where the fuck are the R n B dancefloors at? no one gets laid with house music especially cause it involves drugs and a flaccid penis.

7. Nicki Manever

8. PC…not talking about the computer

9. Hair extensions…really? still? fuck along with Juicy Couture anything and fake tans (that are bad)..this is early 00s guys

10. Not being Jennifer Aniston, that dime gets the same amout of dick as Hank Moody…difference? real life.

so finally watched *i'm still here* with JP aka Joaquin Rafael Phoenix (pronounced /hwɑːˈkiːn ˈfiːnɪks/; born October 28, 1974), formerly credited as Leaf Phoenix, and was moved to say the least. I don't know how much is real or fake but the bottom line is that there is realness to all the fakeness. i mostly kept wondering
1. why didn't he flip on Ltterman
2. was Diddy really played or was he in on it
3.does JP really like smelling girls assholes
4. were they real drugs (not the weed)
5. what does Summer Phoenix think watching her husband film this shit about her brother
6. it must all be a hoax because he'd never sell his dad out and put him on film...i don't know...not that i think that's selling out...it was no Beiber Luda duo...although i suppose that isn't selling out either...but it's more career suicide that JP's 'rap' career. butmotherfuckeri'dstillfuckhimwiththatbeardgutt.

TO FUCK OR NOT TO FUCK? WAIT A MINUTE...WHO GIVES A FUCK!

IN MY friends RECENT (too many months ago) DECISION TO ISOLATE themselves INTO WORK AS A PART OF THE TRANSITION TO MOVE OUT OF THE COUNTRY, they FIGURED THERE’D BE MORE marie-louise parker INSTANCES THAN SO...SO...ONE DAY they SAW A HIGH SCHOOL TOY IN THE GROCERY STORE (unfortunately i mean one literally from when they were in high school, not a young and dumb) AND THEY THOUGHT TO THEMSELVES, "i should fuck him, who cares, no one's here to chirp me about it anyway" THEY already knew he was a dirty fuck through grape vines so THEY didn't have to worry about that important quality and big arms were in check for heavy lifting BUT THERE WAS ONE THING WRONG THAT LED TO ANOTHER.

1. they COULDN'T SHAKE THE FACT THAT HE LOOKS LIKE christopher baily...SO MUCH SOT THAT THAT'LL BLOW COVERS IMMEDIATELY. Note: T'ain't nothing wrong with CB but that love is platonic.

BUT IT WAS TWO THAT SEALED DEALS

2. they ASKED A RELIABLE FRIEND (friend who's down to consider fucking most((compliment)) AND EVEN she REMINDED they THAT I'D BE A HURTIN' HIGH SCHOOL SQUIRREL'S 'sloppy seconds'.

THIS ALL BROUGHT ME TO MY CONCLUSION THAT britney spears WAS RIGHT, THERE ARE 2 TYPES OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, THE ONE'S YOU'LL FUCK AND THE ONE'S YOU'LL NOT FUCK...BUT DON'T WORRY THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE WHO'LL FUCK YOU.
NOW THE POINT OF THIS INTRO IS TO STATE THAT WE, girls, HAVE DOUBLE STANDERED OURSELVES. IF A GUY WANTED TO FUCK A HURTIN SQUIRREL WHO HAD THE worst SECONDS (burnout status), INCLUDING HERSELF BEING A SLOPPY SECOND TO ANY OTHER SQUIRREL, HE’D FUCK HER . AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULL SHIT THAT WOMEN CARE MORE ABOUT WHO THEY FUCK...FUCK THAT, WE'VE JUST BEEN TOLD TO THINK THAT WAY AND JUDGE OURSELVES ABOUT WHO WE FUCK SO WE MAKE THE DUMB DECISION TO NOT WHILE DUDES JUST FUCKING CHECK MATE THAT SHIT. SOMETIMES THE GUY COMES OUT DATING THE SQUIRREL CAUSE hurtin squirrels have to be good in bed AND THEY'RE FINALLY GETTING GOOD HEAD.

BUT EITHER WAY,IT'S NUMBER ONE THAT they CAN'T SHAKE.