Tip of the week for the weak
Don’t be fooled by those ‘healthy’ choice foods/snacks. The following are Squirrels a.k.a. “simply a rat with a cuter outfit”(Sex and the City, Bradshaw, Season 4 Ep. Sex and the Country)
-G Granola bars, I’m not saying DON’T eat em’…even I do but don’t take them as a fruit. They can turn deadly seeing that they really are not filling and yet they hold lots of sugar and we all know what that turns to (did I mention I’m a candy ADDICT). And if you are buying cheap ones where you cannot pronounce the ingredients or the list to make the damn bar is longer then the steps to make a chicken parmesan then…puttem’ back on di shelf gurl. Personally I say fuck em’ a banana is more filling, literally.
- Hummus…yes yes we ALL love hummus. Go out and have a drink and waddaya git? That fucking hummus with that muddafukin’ pita death bread. I say read the label on the brand…those fancy lookin’ ones are real brutal…and please realize what 2 tablespoons=50 to 80 cals and once you’ve devoured about 10... (10X50-70=FUCK) and remember that it's being washed down with booze.
- CCereal that has more than 7g of sugar per serving, less than 5g of fiber, can’t pronounce ingredients (note what the first 5 are), is over 120cals per cup (not saying that anything higher is bad but that is not cereal anymore)
- Gum, it just gets your sugars going, bad for the teeth. Yes of course we are all gonna chew it but you know who you are if you’re an addict (spending over $365 per year on it). Obviously if you are quitting smoking or about to mack...exception.
- DDark chocolate…I’m gonna get stabbed for this one. Ok we’ve all heard the same shit about it. I don’t care, a labels a label READ THE TRUTH for yourself. Yes if it helps you digest but don’t go digest each night with a Ritter Sport and wonder why you face is breaking out or your ass looks like it needs to start playing a sport.
- Alcohol(my biggest problem) this one is by far the worst because
1. You most likely eat when you come home nevermind the fact that you just drank 1billion calories.
2. The alcohol stays in your body for 72hours so you don’t burn any fat at the gym.
3. You feel like death the next day (unless you got laid then discard this section).
4. You can’t work out.
5. You only feel better sitting doing nothing, smoking, eating garbage so on…
6. Oh, and you wasted money...lets not even think about the time.
Note On these notes I’m heading over to Tutti Fruitty.
Top 10 Love
1. Getting a full nights sleep (no clue what that is but imagine it’s love)
2. Dinner parties themed ‘Opulence’= speaking in a British accent, using old English and using the word opulence to describe EVERYTHING
3. Walking up knowing that I didn’t send that text!
4. Alexander McQueen’s 09 Resort line.
5. Shaun Leane
6. Waris
7. Christmas window at Home Hardware on Bloor between Spadina and Bathurst
8. Movie: Fried Green Tomatoes- just watched it this week. So good…my only disappointment was that I was waiting for Mary-Louise Parker and Mary Stuart Masterson to at least make out (it never happened)
9. Movie: Working Girl- starring Melanie Griffith featuring the 80s finest moments…coke, shoulders, massive hair, high-wasted minis with exposed zippers, trenches and NEW YORK CITY!
Top 10 Hate
1. Jimmy Choo for H&M, just horrible, horrible, horrible.
2. H&M
3. Anything D&G (except for the male models)
4. Sonia Rykiel for H&M, I love her but man, BRUTAL
5. Backcomb (few…barely any exceptions here…e.g. Carrie season 3)
6. Alice Dellahl look-a-likes
7. People on dates with their fuckin’ phones on the table
8. People who speak loudly to their friend, in public, about a statement they want to make for all to hear. E.g. everyone should be getting the immunization because blablaBORING!
9. Parents who have their children on bikes with them or behind them in a buggy…I don’t care, it should not be allowed.
10. The game….not the rapper
