You Put the ‘EGG’ in Leggings
Alright so I was going to go on the topic of men a.k.a. older looking boys, but I decided to give em’ a rest and my head a rest about them. So… NEXT!
A fashion trend that has not yet been put to rest, most likely because they are cheap, easy to match, light in the luggage, oh and EVERYONE else has them, are these fucking leggings. Now before 1 million girls bash on this topic, please hear me out.
Now, like most fashion trends, not all are suited for each human being. In the case of leggings this is also true. Of course there will always be those who are going to carry the attitude of ‘I don’t give a fuck, I’m going to wear it anyways’ attitude and that’s fine and so I suggest you go to another web page now cause shits bout ta get honest. I’m not going to made a novel out of this because 1. You won’t read it and 2. I got shit to do today. So here is it in point form:
- if you are bigger (you know what this means) stop spending all your money on stupid tights and get yourself of nice trousers that’ll actually last longer than this stupid trend (that also goes for everyone else) and will enhance your appearance.
- WEAR A FUCKING THONG! I already don’t want to see you in leggings and now I have to see 4 asses (just like the girl who’s bra doesn’t fit and has 4 tits).
- PLEASE (I don’t care how fucking nice your ass is and this is NOT a jealousy thing because I like your asses) wear a fucking shirt that COVERS your ass. This is especially crucial if you have a huge, flat, saggy, no, ass. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean it looks good..why do you think we laugh at past trends throughout history and ask ourselves ‘what were they thinking?’.
- If you MUST wear leggings at least invest in a good pair. American Apparel is GARBAGE. They’re sizing is fucked, everyone who works there is on blow and looks ‘hip’ cause they constantly steel from the store and are hired based on looks. Also, the cotton is shit and there leggings run anywhere from $30 to $60, they take about 2 seconds to make and that store in just bunk in every way.
- if you are going to ignore the above then perhaps this one will sway you. We’ve all walked down the street and seen the girl who doesn’t have a T-shirt covering her barassleggings and they are so fucking cheap that they are see-through. Now maybe this is a way of getting dudes which puts me behind the times so I apologize but otherwise, CHECK YOUR BACKSIDE. If you know a person in this ‘legging category’ please fucking tell her.
- My last point (although there are many) is leggings cut off at either the ankle or mid calf, paired with a dress and heels. Ok this one really bothers me because you are trying to look nice and you’ve just proven y’aint gotta fucking clue how. First, take those fucking leggings OFF, you’ve just made yourself look inches shorter and inches wider (trust!).Either go bare legs or pantyhose. Also, leggings are thicker, usually cotton, and therefore this creates a sort of static effect which I don’t need to explain (bad).
Legging Exceptions (duhh)
- There are, just like any fashion trend, certain chicks who can pull off anyfuckingthing (I don’t mean only models). This is how we get confused and think that we can also get away with anything. We can’t, get over it and just admire them.
- Then there are the printed leggings. If you don’t know how to work the rest of the outfit you will look retarded and so leave it to the above girl (sorry but true). Instead go invest in a blazer or wool sweater (seriously though).
- Because prints, especially in legging form, will most likely make the legs look bigger, I am sorry but fashion is about discrimination, they only will be a success on a nice pair of gams (you know if you gottem’ or not). Note: I did not say rake model thin…I said nice.
Legging NEVERS!
- Gold, light grey leggings they are so fucking gross…it better be for a costume.
- Leggings with the basic 5 pockets you see on jeans…this means you are not covering your ass and telling us that they are pants. No, no, no, no, no.
- See-through leggings (gotta stress this cause I’m tired of seeing them or rather all that they are “concealing”)
- WHITE leggings this are the ultimate WORST!
Top 10 Love:
- movies: Julie & Julia, Chanel documentary
- with Christmas on its way I gotta shout out Home Alone 1 and 2.
- Father-child bonding
- Children who speak French
- Comme des Garçon cologne, male or female, so good and I mostly dislike perfumes.
- Palm, if you have not tried this beer get on it!
- Marlboros, thank God they don’t sell them in Canada.
- Bodyrock.t.v., if you are tired of your workout, check this hot bod’s tricks…I am sore right now from them.
- Getting a text at 9:43 a.m. that reads “love you” from one of your greatest friends and know that there is not doubt in your mind that they do.
- Sticking my hand in a bowl/bag of rice. LOVE that feeling.
Top 10 Hate:
- leggings..duhh
- brand whores a.k.a. head to toe in brands of all kinds
- axe body barf
- Tiffany & co. heart necklaces, they are not even made of Gold…such a rip and ugly.
- girls who are still tanning
- girls who are still wearing hair extensions
- fake nails
- belly rings
- overpriced vintage
- Basement apartments
Food for Thought: Tasks in life are much simpler when there is no thought
involved, it is the ability to not think that becomes the
challenge but once discovered creativity snowballs.
